We love all of our readers and we want to you to know how much youre appreciated! Here are other litmus tests I've blogged about. Towards Net Zero. For many of us, hearing this phrase is like a warm hug. And John is left feeling confused and despondent. Congratulations on your graduation, dear son. However, is this what happens? Required fields are marked *. It's nothing bad or unusual. Well, that truly makes my day. Yeah, this means a lot to me. Even if the other person's words and/or actions seem reprehensible, try to be as . If a parent can say, 'I'm proud of you', then can the parent also say the opposite - ' I'm disappointed in you '? 2. It's a pleasure to congratulate you on this lovely moment. And you get to benefit from them regardless of the outcome of your relationship. Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity. Someone elses pride in you does not usually translate to pride in yourself. I, too, rightly believe that I had little to do with my offspring making his way in life in a manner that is worthy, but as parent, conveying I am proud of you, has distinctive and important meaning. This is a noble endeavor. Everything you do is with excellence. Yes, I agree that it can also be very strong coming from siblings and spouses/lovers. Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool that can help to encourage and motivate people. Now whether its romantic or a deep friendship is a different question. If a homeless guy on the street (lower status) or Bill Gates (don't know him personally) tell me they're proud of me it won't have a huge positive effect. I started to cry with the realization that in my 40+ years I had never heard it from anyone but him. Think of things people have often praised. This "mental timeout" gives you the space to process the insulting remark in light of what it was; someone's thoughtlessness or an attack meant to provoke a reaction. "You make me so mad.". She and I are both married. Can "me too" be used here? Whatever I did, I just did it for our friendship, Bro. Likewise, these are special, cute, and funny replies when someone says I am proud of you and you dont know what to respond next. "How I do love you!" Future Planet. 2. I am in awe of your talent and accomplishments. Most of the time you spend together is in the bedroom. 1. Let them know how much better you feel now that you're smokefree. Graduates: TBA, Grandparents: PET for Grandparents. My boys are all each others fan club and its marvelous. Im so glad to hear that. I still think she was doing this at the time. So we arranged to have her drive to the hotel where I was staying and we drove there together. This is why we say, I am very happy for you! They are the one to feel proudit was THEIR accomplishment. 12. 3. Give yourself time to process your reaction to something before jumping in with a response. Please contact info@parentskills.com.au for further information. I believe many people do not understand and appreciate the expression Im proud FOR you. So thank you Ben, for after read the above I feel happy with my Im thrilled for you, You must feel really proud and the like. You are using an out of date browser. Thanks. Someone has just gone out of their way to say something nice to you. And Ill encourage them to be proud. Self-doubt can make it hard to accept compliments and to express gratitude for the words of others. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. 14. "), Parent: "Im proud that you got all As in your school report/won that tennis trophy", How might you feel as the child? You have overcome something you may not had confidence in yourself to succeed. Let me tell you why. "Scorned ex-girlfriends are the worst. But you'd like some clarity on what he really means when he says that. Believe me when I tell you that it is not meant so kindly elsewhere. Why is this such a contentious phrase? I'm so proud of your painting!" It can also help to show appreciation to others and can help to create stronger relationships. Who is saying this to whom? Also, theyre proud of you, when you do something like your family has been doing or you did something way greater or different than anyone in your family so far. 24. Get your facts straight. Proud Boys celebrate President Trump's callout to them during debate. Its very presumptuous. Your email address will not be published. Great to hear this. We can all have slightly different interpretations of words which if not careful can start a war! I say it often to former students. I have always struggled with this word. Your thoughts and ideas are so creative, which has allowed you to refine your talent into something unique from others. 2. but not the p-word. 7. In fact, whenever I hear this phrase from a colleague, I immediately understand that this person in reality is envious of my achievements and the phrase Im really happy for you in fact means Im very unhappy that its not my achievement, that you and not me is getting the praise/ promotion/ degree/ lottery win, I hate you for that and I wish I was in your place right now. I dont think my children have any problem with this because they know, in many other ways, I love them dearly. We all have people in our lives who make us feel special, appreciated, and respected. 13. 9. by Carolyn Steber. After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. I dont know that you provided a litmus test, but the article acted as such for me. I know that it is in the nature of the internet that you can confirm, and get consensus about most any belief you have, but, if that is what has happened here, Im OK with it. 14. They have everything to do with your strength, and what you've endured. For what? The parent might have paid a lot of money, or given up time, to coach and practice tennis with their winning child. Next course: We hope to run a face to face course beginning in early May, 2023. You have always been there for me and our friendship is something that will never go away. Like Im only worth anything just because Im making money? . Feb 10, . document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All Rights Reserved. One man said, "I am so proud of my partner when we are at receptions together; many men are around her wishing to make love to her . Be proud of you." - Oprah Winfrey 3. And now, that you have the other responses to I am proud of you, you can share the same based on whos saying this and after which event. It will show your appreciation for their words, it will help to strengthen your relationship, and it will create a positive and constructive environment. Larissa Dann, a veteran trainer of Parent Effectiveness Training in Australia, suggests that we stop saying "I am proud of you," and start saying, "I am proud for you." 1 It is a subtle shift from the accomplishment being about the parent to the accomplishment being about the child. Im happy that youre with me in good and bad times. I felt great to know he as proud of me, especially after he had read my term report cards in high school. I dont think that without your support I can make it. Now, of course, its diminished if the person throws the phrase around too casually to colleagues, all family members, etc., but if they are a genuine and caring person, then I believe it shows a deeper connection. I dont care that I had to hear it from a video-taped personage. I admire your ability to ___________. He may not have been able to think of something better or funny so he settled for that. Just the way you look and react to your husband can give the impression that you are honored to be his wife. How come you didnt come to watch this match? Sometimes people use it to appropriate the achievements of others, which is a sad and awful thing. 2. And family can often be proud, but as with most things family, the obligation and bias dull the effect. 1. She said yes and then she said she wanted to go with me. implying a mentor relationship. Because we ran into a bunch of other classmates that were also there, we didnt spend time exclusively with each other but we did sit together at the game. Later, I saw her in a restaurant and apologized for balling her out in public. Compare: "Oh bear!" But this will be seen as an overreaction. I agree that its a phrase that is really reserved for the individual doing, or accomplishing something, i.e. The administrator suggests obtaining professional advice on any concerns (including medical or psychological) the reader may hold regarding their children, themselves, or others. It is arrogant. But some of us never heard the expression in our lives till we were adults. Interesting perspective. . So - does this research negate my concerns regarding the phrase "I'm proud of you"? Glad that I keep our family tradition alive. 10. Did I do anything extraordinary? Anyone who overthinks any form of compliments or think's that there are hidden agendas or people are not being completely honest about what they say, should take a step back and ask themselves why they are thinking those thoughts, personally i believe it's more about them and not what is being said about the phrase. I am here for the same reason. The Obama campaign needs to walk this one back and pronto. In what context? If you get a new job, get a participants medal for a 10K or do anything deemed worthwhile, friends, family and acquaintances will say they are so proud of you!!!. No, I am more proud of you, too. I'm so proud of you" I say things like "I love seeing you so happy with your work" and "I love seeing your words in print". Basically, its an ambiguous expression. You're not necessarily the expert. Hearing those words can make us feel seen, understood, and appreciated.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[970,90],'howdoirespondto_com-box-4','ezslot_3',180,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howdoirespondto_com-box-4-0'); Its important to remember that the power of words goes both ways. If there is a mentor relationship, fine, but when the relationship is supposed to be about equals, My native language is not English, but I have fallen into the unfortunate (for somethings) of social netwoks, like facebook. And why should I stop using this phrase? Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors. That makes you a living miracle. February 18, 2023 There are people who interpret life as if it were all about a fight of egos. A person receiving this praise could also feel belittled it could feel as though their achievement was unexpected - a surprise to the other person. Granted that in many relationships, Im proud of you would strike a patronizing or otherwise false note. Plus, they also express how proud they are, when you do something special for them. Simply thanking them or hugging them is an immediate reaction to it. Of course, the child may feel really pleased to hear this positive evaluation of their efforts. I very quickly responded with a snappy, Why? He said because you were up last night with the baby, and went to work, and youre still cleaning this late at night. Um What a shock that I am hardly sleeping, cleaning constantly, working again, taking care of two babies, doing his laundry/dishes/cooking It really rubbed me the wrong way that he was proud of me. I believe you. All rights reserved. God being what He is, at once moral and all-powerful, the immoral life is doomed to overthrow, whether the immorality consist in grasping rapacity, proud self-aggrandizement, cruel exaction, exulting triumph or senseless idolatry. On the other hand, my brother has said it to me, and although he did not play a role in my achievement, it still meant something positive to me and it felt good. 11. What a surprise! You look so much better!". Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window). I live about 200 miles from the old college & she lives in the same town as the college is located. Thanks! If parents don't 'approve' of their child, then they disapprove. Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. I dislike the phrase entirely, regardless of how we are involved in the individuals life: parent, teacher, mentor, etc. I can see a peer, a spouse, or even a child saying that to someone who got a new deserved promotion, for instance. If these 10 phrases come up often, they're signs he doesn't want a relationship with you, and you should move on with someone who can be the person you deserve. 16. Love you so much. You must log in or register to reply here. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. The next morning, I woke up to an email in my inbox that was one line: "I'm really proud of you." Consider why you so are grateful for this thing or person. Maybe Im mad, because it makes me feel like he thinks I wasnt doing enough before I started back at work- like carrying children inside of my body for nearly two years, plus birthing them, plus never sleeping, plus cleaning for HOURS upon HOURS everyday, plus cooking, plus plus plus wasnt enough to be proud of. So - when a parent says, "Im so proud of you", is the parent taking the credit for the childs accomplishments? 9. . My sons grew up together and are spaced two years apart. You could also feel patronised. Im proud of myself, although saying it out loud doesnt make it better. Approval is a parent's judgement of a child's choices - and to a child, this feels like a judgement of them as a person. From that day on, I felt like I couldnt really trust him, and now I know why. Try The Behaviour Window. I like what Chris Yeh said about the (phrase/declaration), Im proud of you, What do they perceive - when a parent (or teacher) says "Im proud of you"? I guess after receiving the compliment, I felt that he was patronizing me, because I have only had my parents or teachers say they were proud of me. 9 Focus on Them When Praising Them PeopleImages / Getty Images They may start to see their parent as being insincere, or even manipulative. Here subject and object are the same person. 16. 3. I cannot understand that and think he is misusing the word. It is an accomplishment that makes good memories in life. You are happy they are an ambassador for you. Most of the time, to be proud of someone means you know where they've been and how far they've come pride is a word about growth. Later in life, after having been to university, but not knowing what I really wanted to major in and which degree I wanted to get (prepped for teaching career, but not convinced it was the right career for me), I stopped my studies and took a good union job, which at least paid some bills and gave me teh good feelign of earning money. 7. If a friend said it to me, I might say "Thank you", but I'd be thinking "Well, who gave you authority over me, then?". If youre proud of me, buy me a pizza, then. It may be a taunt from them to do something unusual. Usually friends say "I'm so happy for you" or "Really nice job!" Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. In this research, children of parents who never said "I'm proud of you" were significantly more likely to contemplate, plan or attempt suicide. ), Seven Thoughts to Help You Parent Peacefully, Hints on Maintaining a Harmonious Household. I think we need to invent another word for that wonderful feeling in our own chest when someone we care for does something they feel proud about and we agree that they should feel proud. About 5 years ago, an ex college girlfriend and I began emailing each other occasionally (not often just once every 2-3 months or so). In what context. Well, thats what we are going to share in this post. I think I instinctively recognized that the balance of power had somehow been upset, but couldnt put my finger on it. Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? Approval is different to acceptance. Go To Homepage. However, the other expression Im really happy for you is so overused that it immediately rings the bell of insincerity. When your partner is mad at you, your flirty responses to I hate you will certainly make them laugh. Best of BBC Future. Your friend wants to say "I am proud of you too, my friend". No. For what? The words I am so proud of you sum up those sentiments. That proud phrase didnt bother me at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to wonder, what does she mean when she says shes proud of me? Probably no big deal but would be interested in input from others especially other females. This topic came to mind because I recently saw a friend / mentor and told him about a meaningful professional accomplishment. Thanks. But I believe that spouses say it, and siblings. Don't lose control of your emotions. Originally Published: March 28, 2018. momcilog/E+/Getty . You certainly will. Well, that means they're impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. Ive been totally using that word all wrong sheesh, all the complaints about the misuse of the word makes me feel bad about what and how I been addressing my peers and friends. Consequently I now cringe every time I hear the term being used out of context . May these Proud Quotes On Success inspire you to take action so that you may live your dreams. Connect, Converse and Communicate Better. It does not take it away from them. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. Refresher workshop for P.E.T. The important piece is if they are genuine in their caring (and have been consistent, contrary to the parent that was never there but then feels pride). Ive told you that, youre going to feel proud of me. My friends tell me that rather often so like once every month or so, which I think is a lot, if you say it more often you'll take it for granted for sure. Youre my friend, not my parents! 2. Who determines the meaning of words? 11. You should always be proud of who you are imo, and if that includes your nationality then that's fine. What does it mean when someone tells you that they are proud of you? If that's the case, I suggest a change of phrase. http://pbskids.org/rogers/songLyricsImProudOfYou.html. I have never said to my children, I am proud of you. My reason is that thry are responsile for their successes and I shoudnt take any credit for it. So, how should we respond to Im proud of you? Imagine this: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. You could feel annoyed and put out. Don't disguise it as concern, either. If someone calls you out for saying something offensive, remember that your intent can be different than your impact. 8. PJ, I think your ex still cares for you so your accomplishments evoke pride in her. Linda Adams, in her book Be Your Best, quotes Charleszetta Waddles (African American activist): You cant give people pride, but you can provide the kind of understanding that makes people look to their inner strengths and find their own sense of pride. 16. The Next Giant Leap. Last week, I went back to my college homecoming without my wife. They often tell each other they are proud of one anothers achievements and they all know its genuine. (thanks to TK and Andy for helping think this through.). Try these new and funny excuses to ask for money from your parents or your family. But, why does the response "me too" sound natural in response to "I am glad to meet you". Someone else's pride in you does not usually translate to pride in yourself. Well, that means theyre impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. True - the parent might have spent hours helping the child get their homework done or even completing the childs assignment. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. How often do we utter this common parenting phrase, in moments of pleasure at our childs latest achievement? 15. It seems to me that the authors of the study used the phrase 'I'm proud of you' as a catch-all measurement, to reflect a parent's emotional connection with, and support, for, their child - and that it was this emotional involvement that provided protection against suicidal ideation. It can be difficult to respond to Im proud of you if youre struggling with self-doubt. It can be something big or something small it doesnt matter, because the phrase is used to show their appreciation for your efforts and accomplishments. You are asked at the cocktail party what you do. Our children need to know that we believe in them, that we trust them, that we support them, that we love them, that we acknowledge them as individuals separate from us. Move away from the source of your negative thoughts. William, however, was too proud and too obstinate to lend himself to such a course. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. I also told her I had a great time & that she picks up my spirits. 17. It got me thinking, "How many people could send me that sort of email?" I also have to let go of holding it against him, because I presume it was a well-meaning gaffeinstead of saying how happy he is for me, as hes never been belittling before. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. Listen to your inner wisdom, and make a note of the meaning that resonates with you. . Lovers often feel proud when they see their beloved in action. 5. For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! If someone calls you boring: "Yeah, and what makes you so exciting?" Nothing,. One might consider that the mature thing to do, or the business savvy thing to do, but she has had nothing to do with them for years, because they are arrogant and condescending. Congratulations to our dearest son. Health Gap. Thats why its important to take their words seriously and to respond in a meaningful way. Yea, Thank you is not the only response. Take the compliment, give her a big hug and a kiss and tell her "I'm proud of myself as well" and "Thank you". 2. She only ever said it once but it has stuck with me forever: . Sajeev Rajan Instead of acting out of rage over . On the one hand, you're thinking, "He says I'm amazing," and you know he's not wrong. 20 of the Best Encouraging Words that Hold any Caregivers Up 06 "Tim, I keep wondering what Dad would say if he were alive right now. This expression is much more self-focused, i.e. Thank you., Im honored that youre proud of me. 7. They dont have more power than you, and in some cases less, but their opinion matters because they know you so well, and because you respect them and what they think. It means that in their eyes you have come a long way from a place you began. Sometimes a simple change of scenery might help you to stop thinking negative thoughts. The Psychology of Bragging. If you teach someone maths and they pass their exam same thing they are good because they have taken notice of your teaching. Children who are continually praised, or told "Im proud of you" may not believe their parent. I think its about the underlying meaning of these words to a child. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude is also a great way to show appreciation to others. They note your hard work and dedication and remember the person you were before and admire the person you have become. If you care deeply for someone, it is entirely possible to share the sense of pride that they feel in THEIR achievement without your hijacking it in any way. Updated 7th September 2016; and 19th April 2019. 2. Thats why we feel pride in our childrens accomplishments. But, it can also be a bit overwhelming because it puts the spotlight on us and can make us feel exposed. Is it a parent speaking to a child, for instance, or a friend to a friend?

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